Sometimes being uninvited is just what you need. At least that is what I think. This has happened twice recently.
First time was before I left Ontario when I was following up with a girlfriend about dinner invite – one of our going away nights. She didn’t want to come. But she hemmed and she hawed and them said “I’ll be there.” I could tell she didn’t want to be there – I think I know her pretty well nowadays. So, on the way home, I dropped by her place and told her she was uninvited – she was not longer welcome to come.
Sunday, same thing happened – we were going to have a picnic in our new place with our friends and their kids. We were all looking forward to it earlier in the week, but soon Sunday arrived and four of us are sick, one is satisfyingly working at a project he’s wanted to get to for a long time and the three kids were just happy to be hanging out on a non-school day. The last thing I felt like doing was dragging my snotty, coughing, aching ass downtown to sit on a hard floor with no furniture eating picnic food. I figured if I felt that way, perhaps the rest of us did to. So I uninvited everyone – please do not come to a picnic that was promised to you. Yes, you too children. Do not come. Shoo. Shoo.
Harsh it sounds I guess, but both time the responses were positive. My friend was exhausted and had so much going on that a dinner out was not a pleasure, it was a burden to her. We had already seen lots of each other recently, and said our goodbyes (such a lovely card she gave me), so another night? It wasn’t needed and it wasn’t easy on her to make it. What is the point of that? It was supposed to be good. It was supposed to be fun. We had a good hug and said goodbye – and she kept the grip on her sanity.
And Sunday? We ordered pizza, spent time together, kept the project going, and had a pretty good night.
September 30th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Sometimes the plan just has to be chucked out. There will be other picnics.