7:00 am: Five pounds lighter than previous from eating fewer Jelly Bellys and using my building’s gym. Weight loss hindered thanks to the close-by New Town Bakery and those damn Steam Buns.
7:45 am: I didn’t see a pedestrian and I started to go – if he hadn’t jumped out of the way and slapped my hood, I would have hit him. Don’t wear grey and jump out from behind flowerpot pedestrian – you may have the right of way, but I don’t want my life so negatively impacted that I need therapy for years after killing you. Seriously, guy, if you are reading this – I am still so so sorry.
8:30 am: Standing in front of a production board on the floor wearing a hairnet, bags over my shoes and a lab coat. Thinking that surely I couldn’t have finished my entire tea already and I wonder if anyone will notice my pretty shiny nails.
9:44 am: Inside voice: What are these people all talking about?
10:22 am: Text to my husband “How are you bearing up?” (he’s recovering from the flu)
11:00 am: Quality/Production meeting where fiery Russian Quality Manager tells me how It Will Be. By the end, we agreed to have vodka shots together soon to celebrate our new bond.
12:15 pm: Received text response from my brother: “Bearing up Under What?” (phew, that could have been much worse)
12:25 pm: Eating my delightfully delicious lunch – that I had the forethought to make the night before – at my desk and trying to catch up on e-mails. Notice that I have 43 emails on the same topic – boxes. Surely something else happened today.
1:16 pm: Work cell phone rings for the first time and it turns out to be an automated message – complete with strange cadence – to remind me of an appointment.
2:15 pm: Consider reasons why I only seem to sweat from one armpit.
2:43 pm: Participate in bizarre conversation from a parallel universe:
Person Who will Remain Unnamed: “I need a favour. I am moving and I need to get new furniture but my place won’t be ready until November and the store is going out of business. Do you think I could store perhaps a couch, table or chairs or something I buy from the store in the warehouse?”
Me: (gaping): “Um.. . in our company warehouse? You want to store your personal furniture? Here?”
3:37 pm: Finally finish reading all box emails (which by now have increased in number), wondering how I am to get anything done if a box issue takes this level of communication to resolve.
4:45 pm: Dash through the spitting rain to my car to return home. Ponder the thought of how I never remember a jacket now that I live in a highrise. What is weather when you live inside?
5:15 pm: Receive email from Fiery Russian Quality Manager. Appears the bond we have is broken and Vodka shots are not in my future.
5:17 pm: Husband makes mistake of coming home and receives suitable verbal punishment.
5:50 pm: Where I belong, a life of leisure, sitting in the stylist’s chair at the Aveda Institute in Gastown.
7:15 pm: After head and neck massage, people touching my hair for an hour, I believe I may be able to do this again tomorrow.
7:50 pm: Exchange emails with Production Manager to confirm that my worries that I have lost my mind are unjustified.
October 22nd, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Visit to Bizarro land.