The Daily EO: October 22nd, 2012

7:00 am:  Five pounds lighter than previous from eating fewer Jelly Bellys and using my building’s gym.  Weight loss hindered thanks to the close-by New Town Bakery and those damn Steam Buns.

7:45 am:  I didn’t see a pedestrian and I started to go – if he hadn’t jumped out of the way and slapped my hood, I would have hit him.  Don’t wear grey and jump out from behind flowerpot pedestrian – you may have the right of way, but I don’t want my life so negatively impacted that I need therapy for years after killing you.  Seriously, guy, if you are reading this – I am still so so sorry.

8:30 am:  Standing in front of a production board on the floor wearing a hairnet, bags over my shoes and a lab coat.  Thinking that surely I couldn’t have finished my entire tea already and I wonder if anyone will notice my pretty shiny nails.

9:44 am:  Inside voice: What are these people all talking about?

10:22 am:  Text to my husband “How are you bearing up?” (he’s recovering from the flu)

11:00 am:  Quality/Production meeting where fiery Russian Quality Manager tells me how It Will Be.  By the end, we agreed to have vodka shots together soon to celebrate our new bond.

12:15 pm:  Received text response from my brother: “Bearing up Under What?”  (phew, that could have been much worse)

12:25 pm:  Eating my delightfully delicious lunch – that I had the forethought to make the night before – at my desk and trying to catch up on e-mails.   Notice that I have 43 emails on the same topic – boxes.  Surely something else happened today.

1:16 pm: Work cell phone rings for the first time and it turns out to be an automated message – complete with strange cadence – to remind me of an appointment.

2:15 pm:  Consider reasons why I only seem to sweat from one armpit.

2:43 pm:  Participate in bizarre conversation from a parallel universe:

Person Who will Remain Unnamed:  “I need a favour.   I am moving and I need to get new furniture but my place won’t be ready until November and the store is going out of business.  Do you think I could store perhaps a couch, table or chairs or something I buy from the store in the warehouse?”

Me: (gaping):  “Um.. .  in our company warehouse?  You want to store your personal furniture?   Here?”

3:37 pm:  Finally finish reading all box emails (which by now have increased in number), wondering how I am to get anything done if a box issue takes this level of communication to resolve.

4:45 pm:  Dash through the spitting rain to my car to return home.  Ponder the thought of how I never remember a jacket now that I live in a highrise.  What is weather when you live inside?

5:15 pm:  Receive email from Fiery Russian Quality Manager.  Appears the bond we have is broken and Vodka shots are not in my future.

5:17 pm:  Husband makes mistake of coming home and receives suitable verbal punishment.

5:50 pm:  Where I belong, a life of leisure, sitting in the stylist’s chair at the Aveda Institute in Gastown.

7:15 pm:  After head and neck massage, people touching my hair for an hour, I believe I may be able to do this again tomorrow.

7:50 pm:  Exchange emails with Production Manager to confirm that my worries that I have lost my mind are unjustified.

October 22nd, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Visit to Bizarro land.