I have never really been a plant lover. Plants are mysterious, dirty and annoying to me. Don’t get me wrong, I get sucked in grocery store forced blooms as much as the next person. And I will buy. And proceed to either smother with love or neglect to death. My mother-in-law used to bring me plants all the time. She figured out – or I guess will know for sure now – that I kill plants. I used to try to replace the plant that I killed before she came to visit, but then she – being a plant person – seemed to recognize that this was a new version. I guess they aren’t all the same.
I tend to get gifts of food from her now.
For Easter, she sent us an Easter lily, of whose care was firmly within Emile’s hands. I just looked at it – from afar mind – and enjoyed, but all care was in his hands. Near the end of its life, Emile put it outside on our balcony to get it some fresh air and sunlight. It was promptly eaten by a pigeon.
Now that is not something you see every day. Then Emile “taught it a lesson” with a squirt bottle again.
Anyways, I also don’t like plants because they get dusty, leave water/dirt marks and I don’t have the patience for cleaning up. I especially hate fake plants and flowers because as much as they don’t require care – that is exactly the problem. They are left to get dusty and dirty and to fade in the sun while nobody pays any attention. And they don’t even provide oxygen for us non-plants. Horrible.
Now that I am comfortable at work – yet can still claim that I am “new” kinda, I just do things. Like take the credenza out of the boardroom so you can actually get around the conference table, or throw things out that we don’t need. And recently I decided the faded, dusty and spider infested fake plants (I’m sure) in our lobby needed to mysteriously disappear. And they did.
Late one night they vanished into a holding area to see if anyone needed them. Ahem. Nobody needed them, but people have strange attachments to strange things.
A couple of days passed and otherwise than some comments of “Hey, it’s brighter in here” nobody really noticed. So, into the dumpster they went.
Until the large team meeting when the president recognized the missing “plants” and said he’d solved the mystery of where they had disappeared to. And then he turned to blame my boss.
What did I do? Step up and say “I cannot tell a lie. It was me.”? Well, no. I made no eye contact, I just looked surprised, turned my head towards the missing plant section like everyone else and blended into the crowd. “That’s so weird. I wonder what happened to them?!?”
May 13, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: The president and team clapped about the missing plants. Phew. . .could have been a career limiting move there. . . where is my integrity?
Plastic Plant free. . . and we all feel better.