plants – The Daily EO

The Daily EO: July 12th, 2013

I often say “pigeons are like rats with wings”. I got this aversion to birds from my mother because she has a bird phobia. There is just something about their quick movements and sharp beaks and feet that terrifies her. Rational? Probably not, but many things that we fear are not. So, growing up, somehow my mom’s phobia translated to me that birds are dirty, horrid and not pleasant. And living in urban environments with all the damn pigeons – that some people FEED! – hasn’t helped me. Though I don’t have the visceral reaction that my mom has, I don’t like being around birds.

Emile doesn’t hate birds, but doesn’t like bird droppings. Fortunately, most of the time, Emile doesn’t feed birds and encourage them to come around. After his Epic Bird Battle, the pigeons do not come around our balcony any more. And I am pleased about that.

At Easter, Emile’s mom sent us a Easter Lily planter to celebrate the season. It was lovely and bloomed on our coffee tables for several weeks. As I am a plant killer by very nature, I let Emile deal with the care and upkeep of our plants – afterall the Christmas Poinsettia was still alive.

Emile noticed the plants getting a little peaky, so decided to put them out on our balcony for a little direct sunlight and fresh air. The birds – crushed during aforementioned Epic Bird Battle – decided this was their opportunity to exact revenge for the humiliating loss.

The first day they focused their attention on the poinsettia – ignoring completely the Easter Lily. Emile was shocked that pigeons would commit such a heinous crime. But as all attention by the birds had been on the poinsettia – with complete ignoring of the lily – Emile assumed the lily was safe. Because the fresh air and sunshine was perking the plant up.

But pigeons were only taunting him.

July 12th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Revenge complete.

The Daily EO: May 13, 2013

I have never really been a plant lover. Plants are mysterious, dirty and annoying to me. Don’t get me wrong, I get sucked in grocery store forced blooms as much as the next person. And I will buy. And proceed to either smother with love or neglect to death. My mother-in-law used to bring me plants all the time. She figured out – or I guess will know for sure now – that I kill plants. I used to try to replace the plant that I killed before she came to visit, but then she – being a plant person – seemed to recognize that this was a new version. I guess they aren’t all the same.

I tend to get gifts of food from her now.

For Easter, she sent us an Easter lily, of whose care was firmly within Emile’s hands. I just looked at it – from afar mind – and enjoyed, but all care was in his hands. Near the end of its life, Emile put it outside on our balcony to get it some fresh air and sunlight. It was promptly eaten by a pigeon.

Now that is not something you see every day. Then Emile “taught it a lesson” with a squirt bottle again.

Anyways, I also don’t like plants because they get dusty, leave water/dirt marks and I don’t have the patience for cleaning up. I especially hate fake plants and flowers because as much as they don’t require care – that is exactly the problem. They are left to get dusty and dirty and to fade in the sun while nobody pays any attention. And they don’t even provide oxygen for us non-plants. Horrible.

Now that I am comfortable at work – yet can still claim that I am “new” kinda, I just do things. Like take the credenza out of the boardroom so you can actually get around the conference table, or throw things out that we don’t need. And recently I decided the faded, dusty and spider infested fake plants (I’m sure) in our lobby needed to mysteriously disappear. And they did.

Late one night they vanished into a holding area to see if anyone needed them. Ahem. Nobody needed them, but people have strange attachments to strange things.

A couple of days passed and otherwise than some comments of “Hey, it’s brighter in here” nobody really noticed. So, into the dumpster they went.

Until the large team meeting when the president recognized the missing “plants” and said he’d solved the mystery of where they had disappeared to. And then he turned to blame my boss.

What did I do? Step up and say “I cannot tell a lie. It was me.”? Well, no. I made no eye contact, I just looked surprised, turned my head towards the missing plant section like everyone else and blended into the crowd. “That’s so weird. I wonder what happened to them?!?”

May 13, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: The president and team clapped about the missing plants. Phew. . .could have been a career limiting move there. . . where is my integrity?

Plastic Plant free. . . and we all feel better.

The Daily EO: March 31st, 2013

We sat and ate French Toast and sausages with my grandpa at his retirement residence. The room was filled with nice touches like Happy Easter place mats, tulips, and decorative little chicks (not chicks, but baby chickens). During dessert, the staff started to gather up the daffodils from the tables. We thought this was strange because there was still a second seating at 1 pm. When we asked, the woman told me that there was complaints that they were too big. Imagine! Complaining about Daffodils in the Spring! A little crotchety in the place today.

Look at how those daffodils mess up the place!

Then it was off to grandma’s house who was feeling a crotchety herself. Her knees were aching and she – well, frankly was feeling sorry for herself. I guess I would too if the signals that I sent from my brain to my legs were ignored. Fortunately, a walk on the boardroom cheered her up – and there was no complaining about daffodils.