The Daily EO: August 4th, 2012

Greetings from Gillette, Wyoming and the Country Inn and Suites!

Hours Driven: 7.5
kms Travelled:  743
Money Spent:  $307

“Are you Serious?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

I wouldn’t have been more surprised and abruptly awoken if Emile jumped up on the bed and shouted “Google provides 1000 mbps to select customers in Connecticut!” as loud as he could.  Which in fact is what it sounded like.  Not the Connecticut part, but the on our bed part.  At 6:30 in the morning, some crazed woman started screaming at her child.  Our hotel was not soundproof and I would have sworn she was right there.

“What did I tell you?  We are GOING to Have a Good Day!  And here you are being Difficult!!  ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

I laid there wondering where she was and what this child did to deserve this wraith.  What time is it?  Where are we?  What is going on?  What is it that happens to some people that have children?  The ones that become overbearing and borderline abusive to their kids.  Lady, its 6:30 in the morning and no doubt you have driven the Great American Road Trip, feeding your kid sugar, getting them to bed late and then awakening them at 6:00 am to “get a good start”.  So give us all a break!

“Your FACE will STOP being RED in 5 Minutes!!  Stop Crying!!  Are you SERIOUS??”

Finally this delightful mom and family left and we were able to go back to sleep.  Emile grabbed an extra pillow to cover his ears, built a pillow wall to block out the dawn sun that was streaming in and promptly returned to peaceful slumber.  I lay awake a little longer convinced I would never get back to sleep.  But soon I awoke at 10 am.

Our hotel included breakfast and we certainly were going to take advantage of it.  As Emile ate my waffle and his, I sipped at a tea and wondered if I would ever feel rested again.    I gathered the free condiments I always do, as I reminded Emile what our Nutbar Neighbour was screaming at the crack of dawn.

So, a bit of a late start.  The sun shone and the hotel parking lot was empty.  We were the late departure.

There is a reason Montana is called big sky country – it truly feels like the world is vast and open.   It was a tremendous drive and we both enjoyed it – being able to see the scenery this time.

We debated and debated whether to swing through South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore as it would add extra hours to our trip.  Emile said “Well, I think we should go, then we can scratch it off our list”.  I am not sure what the list is that we have, but well, he knows me.  Crossing something off a list is my motivation.  Of course we headed south!

That meant a dive into Wyoming, and the instant we crossed the state lines, the highways turned pink.  And I thought Wyoming’s borders were arbitrary!  What an incredible feeling – I want to come here and buy cowboy boots and find a ranch and do cowboy things.  Wide open like Montana, but with unique pink and black rock formations.  Exploring Wyoming goes on this list we apparently have.  But probably just after returning to Paris.

We pulled into Gillette – debating the pronunciation – at 7:30 pm and could not bring ourselves to risk driving further despite our paltry 700 kms.   We were tired, hungry and road weary and needed a good night’s sleep. Surely Gillette had a room for the night.  First hotel we tried – internet, fridge, breakfast and less than $100.  We are in.

The clerk told us we were lucky that we were here tonight (double the rate) instead of next week – it’s the big Motorbike Rally in Stugis next week.  And the connections were made – no wonder there have been so many bikes on the road!

Despite my assertion that Wal-Mart is destroying North American society, we went to the Super Centre across from our hotel.  We wanted the real modern American experience you see – and Wal-Mart fit the bill.  All we needed were some “pry it from my cold dead hands” guns and cheap tacos.

We crawled into bed with the alarm set for the first time in weeks.  I have the idea of running in Wyoming because it sounds really cool.

Aaah.  Bed with a new box of Cheeze Its, some weirdo Key Lime diet soda pop and Family Feud.

August 4th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Finding a hotel before dark – new, clean, friendly, and cheap with fresh baked cookies and chocolates at the front desk.

You’re immortalized, Crazy Lady!

The Daily EO: June 21st, 2012

Okay.  Something for you mothers out there.  You know when you are off doing something on your own – say gardening, reading a book, watching a movie, cooking dinner, talking on the phone?  And invariably you can hear the noise of those you share a house with?   And then with a start you realize you can no longer hear the sound of your kids?  Which of course leads you to the over used cliché of “it is too quiet” and you need to investigate?

That happened to me today.  I was watching yet another episode of The West Wing in the bedroom, while Emile watched something loud and violent in the living room.  With the door closed, I could only make out the bass of the crashes and booms, and the shouting voices.  It wasn’t really bothering me – but I could hear it.

And somewhere in the middle of a CJ Cregg press conference, I realized that I couldn’t hear punches and blood splatter any longer.  (An aside . .while I type this, I can hear these things now.  It lends a sense of authenticity to my writing, don’t you think?)  I paused and went out to see why my husband – who doesn’t do a lot of quiet things except fix computers – stopped making noise at 9:45 pm.

You have to understand – I spend much of my free time imagining the horrible things that could happen to him.  Car accidents, electrocutions, bad cat scratch, hand caught in a car door, severe eye injury leading to eventual blindness, MS, cancer or constipation.

This invariably leads to me saying “Drive Slowly – precious cargo”, “Wear safety glasses”, “Is the power off?”, “Be Careful!” and handing out vitamins, acai berries and chia seeds with admonishments to Live Forever.

He was missing!  Despite being in my pajamas, I wandered outside to check the garage.  I looked in the basement, checked the backyard.  Checked the other bathroom.  Looked for his car (still there).  Called his cell phone (here in the house).   I was stymied.   Where is he?  Could someone break in here and take him without me knowing?  And it’s not like he knows anything about off shore bank accounts.  So why would they take him?  This scenario seems unlikely.  And if he wasn’t taken by force, why didn’t he tell me he was leaving?  Maybe I missed a note!  No.

I’d better keep my hands occupied so I can stem the panic starting to gurgle up.  I’ll unload the dishwasher while I consider the facts.  He is not here.  He has not taken his car.  Hmmmm.  Surely he hasn’t gone running.  It’s almost dark – a car wouldn’t be able to see him!  He could trip and twist his ankle and need help!  If he is running, I don’t know when he is left, so I don’t know when he should be back!   I don’t know which route he took!  Oh My God!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

Door Slam.

“Oh, Hi Sooz, just running.  What’s the matter with you?  Didn’t you hear me getting ready for a run?”

Honestly, man.  I need to lay down. . . .

June 21st, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Who needs exercise?  Just have your spouse disappear to run late at night to get your heart rate up.