Marriage – The Daily EO

The Daily EO: September 6th, 2013

Running with my husband is a gift and a burden. I decided to go for a run today, and Emile said, “Hey, I’ll come with you because I haven’t gone. . . well, I can’t remember when I last went.” And so we get out there, I my husband just skips by me – arms aflailing while he plays the drums along with what music he is listening to (trust me, it Is pre-2000 whatever it is). And that gives me a smile every time. And runs ahead. . . stopping only when he is just checking on me pulling up the rear.

What the hell? Why is it that he has this ridiculous natural stamina and endurance? Do I just drop into a walk much easier than him? Not as mentally tough? I don’t know. But suppose I like spending the time with him. Even if it is with his back.

September 6th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Who runs to Rage Against the Machine anyways?

The Daily EO: June 21st, 2013

In Gastown tonight there was a music festival that shut down Water Street. 150 independent musical acts in about 15 different pavilions. This was a dream come true for Emile – a large group of people, late evening light and music. His camera and he were anxious to get going.

It ran from 5-10, and I arrived home at 6 frazzled due to ridiculous traffic. And I didn’t want to go out, I wanted to rant about something that upset me earlier in the day.

He listened, wisely took my side and waited patiently while I spewed forth.

June 21st, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: A Husband that will listen to me even when he’d rather be doing something else. Anything else.

The Daily EO: January 28th, 2013

I received a text saying my husband invited someone for dinner the next night. This threw me into a little bit of a panic – plan these things ahead, thinking out menus, grocery shopping, pre-prepping food, cleaning. Everything is planned. So, this was hard on me. But then he said “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it.”

Ok?

Hmmm.

Fine, I’m busy at work anyways. Carry on.

So when I got home, Emile announced that he was going to make either Butter Chicken or Pad Thai. I immediately tried to talk him out of butter chicken – afterall, neither of us have ever made it before and our guest was coming in less than 24 hours. We are out of control – there isn’t a plan for this!

But do you know what? – other than rice and curry powder (easily purchased downstairs) – I already had everything on hand to make butter chicken and a readily accessible cook book with an excellent recipe.

January 28th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: It’s my planning and foresight and Emile’s spontaneity and willingness to try something new that works for us. And his butter chicken was really good too.

The Daily EO: November 16th, 2012

My husband and I are annoyed by one main trait in each other:

Failure to make decisions or take of things and just to ride along letting someone else do all the planning and work.
Complete disregard of basic things like turning off the energy sucking lights, or leaving the fridge open or running the water for no reason.

Try to guess who does what.

If we fight, I’d say its 80% because of one of these things. But recently, my husband has begun a campaign to address that which annoys me. For example, a couple of days ago, I said we needed to figure out a place to go for dinner with my aunt on friday night. Often, he would just throw out some suggestions and then leave the details to me. But this time, he did research and selected a place near by.

It was troubling because here he is making an effort to change his behavior that I’ve been telling him for years annoys me, but yet he selected an Indian restaurant. I don’t much like curry or warm yogurt, so I hesitated in agreeing. But I liked this new campaign of his, so I thought I’d better be supportive, so Sitar it was.

I skimmed the menu avoiding seafood, hot dishes with yogurt, curry and samosas (I needed to try something different). My aunt announced her selection of butter chicken, and that sounded pretty good in its description – when has butter or cream ever let any cuisine down?

November 16th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Listening to what my husband had to say led to an excellent meal. Damn it! I’m going to have to start turning off the lights.

The Daily EO: November 4th, 2012

6 years ago today, I married Emile. I am still pretty smug about our wedding and my selection of husband. There isn’t a more patient and generous and kind man in the world and for some reason he directs all that to me. Because, although I have been known to be generous; patient and kind are not usually used to described me.

The wedding was pretty fantastic – a weekend celebration at an exclusive use inn in Northern Ontario. Most of the guests arrived on Friday and didn’t leave until Sunday. And it was perfect. Best wedding I’ve ever been to.

November 4th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: 6th Anniversary. Consisted of moving furniture, eating nachos, napping (complete with drooling), and finishing the day with veggie hot dogs and sweet potato rounds.

The Daily EO: October 3rd, 2012

Today I signed a letter that made all of this move official. And aspects of it were like getting married. Yes, when Emile and I got married that was the official point that we were husband and wife yet our marriage was not made that day – it was made bit by bit, day by day over five years.

And this move, so quickly, that we are Vancouver residents before we could even realize it. The last two months each piece was put in place, each step was taken. So to sign the letter made it official, but it wasn’t when the work got done.

October 3rd, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Me: Materials and Logistics Manager at Rhema Health Products.

The Daily EO: September 8th, 2012

I put my husband on a plane today because he has to start his new job on Monday. Fine wife I am. First I convince him to move to BC with me, and then I don’t follow through. I am not starting a new job yet and I am in the general comfort of my childhood home. While he is working and crashing on the couch of generous friends. I mean, that is hardly fair is it? Shouldn’t I be facing this new challenge by his side? Nope, I just drive him to the airport and send him on his way. Go make us some money, honey.

September 9th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: The pretty black and white floral umbrella my mom bought me as her Going to Vancouver gift. I’ll be pretty and dry.

The Daily EO: August 16th, 2012

A strange set of circumstances intersected today:

1. Emile has lost 30 pounds. Many of his clothes are loose. Many of mine are as well.
2. I am anxious, stressed and not sleeping. When I don’t get enough sleep, I get delirious and unpredictable.
3. We are packing and consolidating. Therefore when we found two more-than-half full bottles of Grand Marnier, they were combined leaving about 4 ozs left. Not enough to pack, too much to toss. It needed consumption.

While we sat downstairs trying to make decisions about what to keep, sell and toss, we passed the bottle back and forth. It was about 11:30 am. As I sorted kitchen things, Emile worked in the other corner of the room going through computer, stereo and electronic items.

I successfully finished off a box and moved it to the completed pile. As I turned around, my eye caught a round white object glinting at me. My husband was standing there with a great big moon waiting for me to notice. Flapping his butt cheeks at me for no reason at all. His shorts could slip off so easily, you see, and why not moon his wife? I gawked and giggled. What the hell?

But back at it – we have things to do. One was to review what is in the garage – catalogue and do the same sort. I don’t really remember what I said or did, but Emile threatened me with another moon. Not one to respond rationally all the time, I threatened him back. And so we mooned each other.

Emile was not to be out done. “I’m going to moon the next car that comes by”, he says. What?!

Now remember: No Sleep, Grand Marnier, Stress, easy slip off pants and potential to be outdone by my husband. We moved to the front of the house, whipped down our pants and hung our butts out in the direction of the street. And waited.

August 16th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Reports of Nudity in Muskoka are Greatly Exaggerated, I’m sure. I love this man.

The Daily EO: July 14th, 2012

(in Cranbrook, BC)

Stereotypical Jewish mothers want their sons to be rabbis or doctors, or their daughters to marry rabbis or doctors. I wouldn’t recommend either in a husband. I mean – doctors, what tradeable and practical skills do they have? I guess if you need someone to drive all night on a road trip. But it’s not like he can simply pull out a scalpel and remove your appendix at home. Do you want your husband telling you what that bump on your back could be? And a rabbi would be useful for a direct conduit, but it’s not like that gets the roof repaired.

I married well. I thought ahead, considered my and my loved ones’ needs of the future and set out to land me a computer expert. It took me five years, but I finally got that proposal. And what has that gained me? A fully integrated home network, friends who believe they owe us a favour because of a computer fix, ultimate employability, and barterable skills.

Mothers – tell your daughters to look for the men who can do things – plumbers, electricians, hairdressers, carpenters, drywallers, computer technicians, landscapers, golf course back shop managers, mechanics, car painters, etc. It really will make life easier later.

July 14th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: A new computer for my mother built by my husband. No maternal guilt on this trip!

The Daily EO: June 29th, 2012

My husband received a Yoda bobble head for his 40th birthday. He holds a bright green neon light sabre (Yoda, not my husband). It was kept in my husband’s office until recently, and now sits as one of the few decorative items in the master bedroom. (Everything else is still packed because this place was supposed to be temporary).

You know those Chicken Soup for the Soul stories and other heartwarming tales about married people never spending a night apart and never taking off their wedding rings? I’m coming up to six years married this year and I think I have taken my rings off as many days as we have been married. If it is too hot, if I am kneading dough, if I get the “hand rot” (sometimes I am not good about making sure I dry underneath my rings), if I am exercising, swimming (I am always scared they are going to come off and therefore I then swim with my hands in fists), or if I want to play with them, or for many other reasons. They are off a lot.

I was blessed with the Francis Fat Fingers (and thighs while we are on the topic). Thanks Mom, Thanks Grandpa. I do not have graceful, slim hands. I have the plump, stubby fingers. Could I not have inherited my hands from my maternal grandmother – who was rumoured to be able to reach 1.5 octaves on a piano with ease? No, I get these hands. But in their defence, they are working hands – strong, robust, and from what I can tell so far, not prone to arthritis (I’ll let you know). So, I’ll take them. Versus the alternative, I guess.

My husband takes his wedding band off all the time too. For many of the same reasons I do. And who gets to hold it? You know it! Yoda – on his sabre.

Quick aside here, one day my husband took off his ring to cut the lawn and left it on the sofa table in the living room. So he would easily be able to find it later, he put it on a business card that was also sitting on the table. I came down stairs to find him gone, and his wedding ring sitting in the middle of the living room on a lawyer’s business card. Lucky for him, the lawyer was a real estate one. Consider the messages you are sending out people!

Now taking off our rings. Could this mean that we are not a committed to each other as those who never spend a night apart or never take off their rings? Maybe. But I’ll tell you this – as I type ringlessly (it’s hot and I am about to go for a run) – my Francis Fat Fingers are deformed. There is a slight indent about 1/2 inch wide on my second finger on my left hand. And It’s lighter than the rest of my hands.

I like to look at my hand with this dint. I like the indent. I can’t take off it easily. And I do not want to.

June 29th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Rings do not make the marriage – rather the dints.