When I shop, I tend to look at mannequins and outfit layouts so I have some clue on how fashionable people dress. But, what irritates me is how they pin up the clothes to make the size 0 look even more form fitting and attractive. How am I supposed to live up to such high standards? Should I actually be able to put tiny clothes on and the pin them to fit even better?
What is this about?
September 3rd, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: I get my revenge by moving the normal sized items from being hidden in the bowels of the rack right up in front (hiding the teensy sizes) to offend everyone in their sheer largeness. Imagine, being a size 12!
I’ve told you before, September is the beginning of the new year for me. Time to move from the languid days of Summer into the more focused Fall. And time to sharpen my dedication to The Daily EO. Yes, I’ve been a bit spotty in my updates. Well, spotty is even a stretch.
But my mother told me “If you have to write, you’d better get paid for it”. So, since I don’t get paid, I write when I want to. And in August, I wanted to lay on lounge chairs, be outside, or doing things I actually do get paid for. So, you wondered! You checked your email often. When or When will she post today’s update!!?? I CAN’T STAND IT!
I am excited to move from August into September because somehow I gained 5 pounds this summer and I’d like it to go away. I say “Somehow” like it is a big mystery. Hmmm. Wine, Jelly Bellys, hamburgers, hotdogs, early mornings and late nights with reduced exercise? What could have happened?! This is so strange.
Well, to start me off right, I went shopping yesterday to get new running shoes. An aside here: I don’t call running shoes “sneakers”. That seems like such weird phrasing to me. Like saying “garment”s or something. It just feels like sneakers are what people wore back in the 1970s to play tennis. I don’t know what sneakers are. I just don’t say it so I don’t get caught in calling a non-sneaker a sneaker. How Embarassing.
Anyways, I need all sorts of stability and support in my shoes, so generally I can’t get the sleek cute, wonderfully coloured modern “sneakers”. (eep, is that the right usage) I asked the guy at the Running Room if I could get some really cute yellow & blue nikes, and he said “No.” Just “No.” So, I get left with the old style ones – from the 2000s. Sooo Yesterday.
So, I tried on shoes I needed – with some weird metallic blue with teal blue trim and laces – and frankly didn’t even like looking at my feet. And usually, I love looking at my feet. I do it all day long. What an awful colour! (the shoes, not my feet) Those laces! I hate them! We were going to try some others styles, when in the backroom, he found a different styling of the same shoe. In my size!
September 1st, 2013 Extra Ordinary: If you are going to turn over a new leaf, you have to look the part.
My insurance claim has finally come through, so I finally can purchase replacement items for my things that were stolen. This is good. Because the bag that I have been dragging my things around is somewhat embarrassing. The first thing I went shopping for is sunglasses. I went to The Bay because I didn’t want to spend a fortune but I didn’t want to get drugstore sunglasses either.
But people disorganize things, so when I finally found the ones – and a lovely plaid pattern on the arms – they were not in the correct section. But that is okay – I found them anyways. But when I turned over the tag – it said $230.
Now for some of you reading this, you may feel that $230 is quite reasonable to pay for sunglasses, but it is about $100 more than I want to spend, and $150 more than the insurance company is willing to reimburse.
But now nothing else compares.
February 19th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Plaid arms mean Burberry, Susan – you know that.
I was in Yorkdale mall about 6 1/2 years ago with my best friend Lisa (www.screaminglisa.com). She had come east to Ontario for my wedding shower – she was my maid of honour – and we were doing a bit of shopping. Neither of us – and I hope she’ll forgive me saying so – are fashion mavens nor do either of us fit into size 4 jeans or size 8 for that matter.
We spend some of our time mocking those who are fashion forward types and worried about being cool for the sake of being cool. So when she saw someone who was wearing these absolutely brand new trend of “skinny jeans”, she pointed them out and said “I think they make even super skinny people look fat”. I agreed with her because frankly, I was busy walking around in my mid 2000s jeans with a low rise waist with boot cut. I mean, she was right, they didn’t look particularly flattering. We wanted to hide the body – not show it off.
But here I am nowadays with probably about 6 pairs of skinny jeans/pants AND a pair of GLO-E-US riding boots. I don’t know, perhaps there people in malls saying my skinny pants make me look fat. Hmmm.
Regardless, I am not 20 any more, I don’t really care about what some yahoos might think, but I do like the trend of skinny pants. Why? Because skinny pants show your shape – from your wide hips to your thin calves – and I like that. There are a pant that just tell it like it is. They call a spade a spade. So by pushing them on us, the fashion world is saying “Bring us your hips people! We want to see some curves. Or no curves. We don’t care! Just show us what you’ve got!”
That’s good. Because “not fashion” bodies is what most of us have.
November 20th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: Yep, I’ve got hips, and a waist and that is just fine with me.
Ah. The Saturday of a long weekend. There is nothing that feels freer. (except being unemployed and not knowing that it IS a long weekend). And what a day here in Vancouver. Cold, but the skies were clear and the sun was shining. Perfect day to hit the streets with tea and sunglasses and walk the length of downtown. I stopped into a Starbucks – one of the hundreds – and had myself a free tea thanks to a giftcard. Yum.Now, in the interest of full disclosure. I got lost walking form Gastown to Yaletown. I did. It’s true. It’s a long story, but I was responding to emails and answering my phone etc while I was walking and not truly paying attention. And, when I attempted to get myself sorted out, I had the misfortune of using maps on my iPhone. The app thought it would be helpful to keep turning the map based on the direction I was headed, but really, all I wanted was to know which was south. As I knew how to walk that direction. So, yep, that was me, with several false starts meandering around “almost Yaletown” staring at my phone. From here on out it is using my brain to get somewhere!
Only three weeks ago, I told of my first gelish polish experience and despite my nails’ insistence continuing to grow and creating a gap it was time to go back and do it again.
I got a pedicure and a manicure. The experience of sitting in a massage chair while one technician works on your feet and someone else does your hands should not be missed by anyone. It feels. . . deserved. Expensive. Hollywood!
And as I watched, a long nail technician free hand painted my french nail polish. Free hand and quickly! I was amazed:
I walked home and stopped in Pacific Center, because with these nails I truly fit in with the downtown shopping crowd. Nevermind I was wearing Sketchers and a yoga jacket. But I fixed that, spending way to much on boots (GLO-RE-US!), and getting a great deal on a rain coat that doesn’t have a hood. I bought some woman’s cord skinny pants at the The Gap, and “Ethan” who rang them through told me they were his favorite pants (he was wearing them). Hmmm. I double checked when I got out of the store. They say “women’s” on them.. . . I am so disconnected with youth these days. We used to wear the boys pants.
After a complete day of gym, nails, shopping and planning dinner with friends, I strolled home with my arms laden feeling pampered and satisfied. This must be what is it like to be on the D-List (A- Listers don’t walk, work out in the gym alone, make their own dinner plans or carry their own packages). Nor do they answer work emails while standing in the middle of The Bay. Or go to The Bay for that matter.
Sorry for the barrage of posts, but I am catching up. Sorry to be late!
I have never owned a pair of rubber boots. Never. Well, maybe I had some cute ones when I was a toddler, but I am pretty sure I did not.
But I live in Vancouver now and frankly I am tired of having wet sodden feet. Rubber boots – especially Hunter ones – are all the rage out here. Skinny jeans and a pair of rubber boots. Here I am running around in ballet flats and a winter puff coat looking like I might have just moved from Muskoka (where a proper pair of winter boots were worn but I tossed those to make moving room for other things like pots and pans).
A quick trip to Army and Navy fixed me right up. A bit splashy (ha!), but I jumped in puddles while I walked home. And Emile could stomach the price. Next, a rain coat.
I’ve mentioned that I have to wear a lab coat at work. We have personalized lab coats. I have 9 of them (someone got a little crazy on the order desk) with a circular patch that says “Susan” on the right hand side. When we ordered, it was decided that I was a medium and that seemed to fit me. And it does.
In the shoulders.
But my hips, it pulls. And it bags around my waist. Lab coats are made for people who are straight up and down. I think we generally call these people men.
October 31st, 2012 Extra-Ordinary: I need a Diane von Furstenburg wrap lab coat. I’d be so much more attractive, and therefore confident. And therefore a better leader.