I had coffee with a stranger today. Well, actually, tea. And it was agonizing, my stomach was in knots, I kept checking my phone (before hand – hoping that it might be cancelled and I could go home), and am utterly exhausted now from the effort. A 30 minute tea at Starbucks.
I am bold, brash, and brave, and shy, vulnerable and anxious. Once I am comfortable and you get to know me – I tell it like it is, I call you out on bullshit, and I am usually the one who speaks up when no one else does. But if I don’t know you, or am not comfortable in the situation, I am crippled with anxiety, I start to sweat from my right armpit in particular, and I miss opportunities.
This is a “reverse bell curve personality” – there is no middle ground me with. I do have a psychology degree, and so therefore pretty sure this is not a clinical or recognized diagnosis (especially as I made it up). It doesn’t appear to be treatable except with more stranger tea. But I am sure I am not the only one who suffers from it – though the right armpit thing seems weird to me.
I’ll have to get comfortable and ask someone about it.
March 14th, 2016 Extra-Ordinary: I didn’t die. I guess I have to do it again. Urg.