The Daily EO: April 8th, 2012

I ate something today that should not exist.  It is against the universe.

Do you remember in that movie . . what was it. . . well, never mind.  I don’t think it got 2 thumbs up.  It doesn’t matter.  Anyways, Rosie O’Donnell – who is friends with Uma Therman (in the movie, I don’t really know about Uma and Rosie in real life, that also is not material to this post) – enters a convenience store.  Uma has just left the store and the clerks are ogling her.  Rosie goes on a rant about how it is against nature to have big breasts and a small frame.  She rants on while shaking some playboy magazines or such and screaming “Big Boobs = Big Butt.  That is the way it works!”

Anyways, the scene was something like that.  I liked it.  I took it to heart.  I’ve used the concept it many times over the years to get over stuff.   Smart = Not gorgeous.   Cheap = Short Life.   Glorious 1969 Barracuda = Gas Guzzler.   Artist = Tortured.   Fresh White Bread = Calories.   It’s the way of the universe.   Parents use it all the time to cheer up sad children.  (“Little Johnny, I know that you are terrible at sports, but you are great at math.  Everyone can’t be good at everything, honey.  You’ll see – that’s why I put up with your father.”)  It is a construct that we use to make sense of an unfair world.

Well, today I ate Tofu Shirataki Angel Hair Shaped Noodles.  What is this?  Well, it is noodles made with tofu and yam flour.  It comes a sealed bag with the noodles floating in liquid (presumably water).  We used it for our Annual Easter Pad Thai dish.  Nothing says easter like Pad Thai.  We have tried many iterations to reduce the calories of Pad Thai, the problem is that white rice noodles are high in calories and do not fit in Damn You Fit April.  Low Carb pasta is pretty good but the calorie count is high still.  The broccoli slaw worked okay, but kinda made Pad Thai into a vegetable stirfry.

This product contains no GMOs (genetically modified organics), no cholesterol, little to no fat, no preservatives, is gluten-free, is vegan, has only 1 net carb (for those of you who know what the means), 2 grams of fiber and 1 gram of protein.  You can get in macaroni noodles and other shapes.  It is reasonably priced – 226 for $2.  And the kicker??  It has only 20 calories per serving.  And the serving was normal sized: 113 g.  You could eat 5 servings and only 100 calories (that is only 10 minutes of running people!).

Don’t you hate those types of products that tell you the serving size is something like 58% of the package?  Really?  Like I am going to buy a “single” serving Iced Tea bottle and only drink 3/8 of the bottle and then put it in the fridge for tomorrow.  Nobody does that.  And if you do, I don’t want to hear about it.    I digress.

But back to this seemingly miracle food.  What is the price?  What is the trade-off?  The universe must balance out.

Well, the package does have the ominous directions of “Boil for 2-3 minutes (or microwave for 1 min) to reduce the authentic aroma”.   Huh?  And this is true, it smelled like Shrimp Mr. Noodles.  But, after draining, rinsing and microwaving for 1 minute, the smell had dissipated.  Then noodles looked fragile, they will probably fall apart in the stir frying process.  Nope, they stayed true to form.  Surely, they will taste weird.  Nope, tasted pretty much like noodles.  Do little children work to their fingers bleed to make these?  Are they cutting down the rain forest to plant soy beans?  Do I want to know?

April 8th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  The best Easter Pad Thai yet.  Nervously waiting for the universe construct to right itself.  And don’t even get me started on the PB2 powder sprinkled on top of the Pad Thai used in place of the peanuts.

The Daily EO: April 7th, 2012

I love Sesame Street.  It is one of those shows that speaks to its audience whatever age they are.  I always wanted to visit Sesame Street because I thought it was a real place.  I had figured out that some of the characters were probably just adults play acting, but I was certain the street was real.  From everything from letter rock videos, to crazy skits by zany puppets and everything in between – and somehow they snuck in learning.  When I was growing up, Sesame Street aired at 12:00 pm until 12:30 pm.  The problem was that I had to leave for Afternoon Kindergarten at 12:15 by the digital clock on the TV. (Yes, isn’t that fancy?  A digital clock on our TV in the early 80s.  As I recall it broke and my Dad wrote one of his famous letters to the manufacturer expressing his disappointment.)  I  covered the clock on the TV at 12:15 pm which obviously prevented Mom from knowing I hadn’t walked to kindergarten yet.

I remember a Bert and Ernie skit called “Ernie’s Telephone Call”.  For some reason it stuck with me and I found myself thinking of it today while I ran.

It involved Bert and Ernie fighting to answer the phone, and Ernie grabbed it.  Then Ernie heard a wonderful story by the caller.  The caller was Happy about a sunny day playing softball.  But then he was Sad because it started to rain.  While the caller stood under a tree, he was surprised to find a gorilla.  But Afraid once he saw the gorilla’s sharp teeth.  When the gorilla ate the caller’s bologna sandwich, the caller got Mad.  But when the gorilla gave the caller a ride on his shoulders, the caller felt Proud for taming the gorilla.  (Assuming this takes place somewhere in middle America, this seems a strange gorilla premise to me looking back at this.  But hey, it stuck with me, and I am sure there are kids still looking for gorillas under trees in the park.)

After we hear the story, Bert then comments on what an excellent story it was!  Happy, Sad, Surprised, Afraid, Angry and Proud!

It came through my head because Emile and I went for a run at the summit center.  It was just like the telephone call!  I was Happy that I ran 1 km without stopping.  Complete with arm pumping and cheering.  I was then Sad because it was only 1 km.  Surprised to find that I had kept up to Emile.  Afraid to that my shin splints would put me out of commission.  Angry to realize that 3 km was my max today ensure good health on my legs.  Proud that I have run and exercised enough that I needed to drop my distance from 5 km to 3 km.

April 7th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  1 km without stopping, heading up to 1.5 km with Bert and Ernie by myside.  Way to go, me!

The punch line of this skit?  The caller had the wrong number!  Ba ha ha.. . .

Ernie’s Telephone Call

 

 

The Daily EO: April 6th, 2012

Good Friday.  For Emile’s parents its a day of mourning and to spend with their friends at the church.  For Emile’s friend Jamie, it is a day that you must have fish and chips – no matter the expense – to remind him of his Newfoundland roots.   For some, it is an opportunity to get the chore of  family Easter dinner out of the way so the remaining long weekend is theirs to savour.  (or perhaps it is so there is turkey leftovers for Saturday and Sunday too).  For Emile – and many others I am sure – its a day off work.  And since I am feeling brave today, I will tackle religion.

I was raised – no, I was baptized Anglican.  I say that I was baptized because I am not sure that it would be true to say I was raised in the church.  I remember going to church with my mom while my Dad would stay home and take care of my brother.  I remember also being allowed to take my colouring book and crayons to keep me occupied during the service.  I remember really wanting to be able to eat the host, until I found out that meant catechism after school until communion.  I played Mary in the Christmas pageant one year – I think James Wilke was Joseph.  I wore a blue choir robe and looked like I was the one wrapped in swaddling clothes.

After my dad died, we didn’t tend go to church.   I can’t say exactly why.  I am sure if we were the stars of a television drama, there would have been a scene with my mom shaking her fist at God in the church and vowing to never come back.  (then text at the end would say  “Inspired by a true story”.  Notice that lately?  They can’t even “Base” things on a true story anymore because it strays so far from the truth.)  But Hollywood truth aside, I don’t think it fit our lives any longer.

The Anglican church was invented by that womanizing nutter King Henry VIII because the Catholic church would not sanction his divorce.  Elizabeth I formalized it later.  The main two differences between the Catholics and the Anglicans (aside from the origin) is that Anglican ministers can marry and there is a lack of hierarchy in the Anglican church.  Therefore, each church is led by the minister in the direction he – or delightfully! she – wants to go.  (Have you noticed that if you are a king, it becomes a new respected religion.  If you are a hippie, it becomes a brain-washing cult.)

So what do I think?  I think it would be extremely comforting to 100% believe in your religion.  I think that to KNOW in your heart of hearts that you will see your loved ones again would be wonderful.  But I simply do not have that unshakable faith – I wish I did.   I want to know that if you were good, only good will happen to you.  To know that those who have wronged the world will be facing their day of reckoning.

I think when someone says they will pray for me it is kind and thoughtful – even if I am not totally sure it will make a difference.  I think that people should believe and have faith in whatever gives them comfort and doesn’t add hate to the world.   I think that faith shouldn’t be used as a hammer or a sword and that it is personal discovery to find what you believe.

Do I believe in God?  I am not sure what I believe in.  I think the world is more complicated than we can fathom and just like our ancestors who built their belief systems on what they could see and understand, I think we do the same.  But I like to think – and therefore I do – that there is something more than I can see and understand.  I like to think that every time I have a close call, or something good happens to me that my dad and others are watching out for me.  That there is more than just what I can see.   I think we all like to think that.  I just don’t know if I can call that faith.

April 6th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Wondering about the existence of God on Good Friday.  I may yet be reckoned with.

 

The Daily EO: April 5th, 2012

This is the actual photo from the newsletter. Yes, Really. If that is what it looks like, I am not sure I want to be motivated.

I received a newsletter from my husband’s EAP (Employee Assistance Program) today.  Well, actually, he received it, but then he forwarded to me.  An Employee Assistance Program is a standard thing in a Canadian benefit packages now a days.  It allows employees to access nurses, lawyers, counsellors, etc for support with issues they may have in their work or personal life.    It’s not a bad idea to have these types of programs available for team members – practical advice is always appreciated and useful.  And Newsletters!  Who doesn’t love a good Newsletter?!  Especially if it is written in Comic Sans font!

 

We got our benefits back this week.  And I am going to get our money’s worth as part of my husband’s severance package before his contract is up in June.   We’ve got $500 for massages each, $200 for vision correction, and 80% of our dentistry covered.   My skin will be rubbed off, I am buying another 6 month supply of contacts, and I am going to the dentist to see about a root canal.  (Yes, that last one is truly is a case of cutting off my nose to spite my face or rather, cutting off my nerves to spite my husband’s employer).    I should see about needing a prescription . . . Emile will be doing the same thing – expect the root canal thing, I don’t think he needs any dental work and that would be going overboard a bit, I think.

Anyways, back to this newsletter.  It was about Motivation.  Does anyone out there get Motivation from newsletters?  I don’t know, but since I am in the “suck all the value from benefits” mode, I read this newsletter.  (In fact, you could say I was very motivated to read this newsletter.)  The newsletter lead me to a 43 page pamphlet entitled “Giving It Your Best:  How to gain and maintain the energy you need to succeed”.

I took the 10 question quiz.  I stumbled over True/False Questions like “I have a good friend at work”.  I do have a good friend at work, in fact, most of my good friends are at work.   Can I answer that one True?   Or “When someone asks me what I do for work, I am proud to give them the answer”  Um.  Well, Yes, I am proud to say I am a terrific Materials Manager.  But what I do for work search for a my next career and run the household.  Can I say True?  I am quite proud of my laundry methodology.    How about “I take breaks throughout my workday no matter how busy I am, even if it’s just to take a stretch break or get a drink of water.”  Hmmm.  If it read “I take regular breaks from stretching and drinking water” I could answer True.

Well, this is great!  I am feeling more motivated than ever!

April 5th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Knowing the more we take responsibility for the energy we bring to the world, the more empowered and productive we become.  The more we blame others or external circumstances, the more negative and compromised our energy is likely to be.

 

 

Yeah, you caught me, I didn’t really write that – it was in the booklet (from The Power of Full Engagement).  Please don’t hold on to your anger for plagiarism, you don’t want your energy to be compromised.

April 5th, 2012 REAL Extra-Ordinary:  Getting my money’s worth, and being a bit more motivated despite cynicism.

The Daily EO: April 4th, 2012

My very first post was about my cat.  But I get that he is a cat.  He stays home on vacation, he eats cat food (for the most part), and I don’t dress him in miniature sweaters (much to his relief – he so couldn’t live it down for his cat friends).  He’s a cat, not a child.   Given that I am at home a lot, I spend more time with our cat than my husband does.  Our cat – Beavis – is about 13 years now.  He is pretty social, and always wants to be with a person – especially us.  If we were away for the weekend, he is especially clingy.  But his love for us shines most when he is hungry.  You get the epic purring, the head-rubs, the ankle hugs, the whole bit.  Seriously Beavis, use your little cat brain – we see through this façade.

Our cat is prone to hair balls so now and then he has a hacking fit.  And the sometimes terrific end of this hacking is about once a month he departs himself from breakfast.  Such a day happened today.   Enough said, but it left our cat hungry – and therefore affectionate.  So, while I went about my business – applying for jobs, cooking dinner, using the computer, etc – Beavis did not leave my side.  He wanted to sit on the keyboard, he wanted to sit on my lap.  He wanted to cuddle with me, he always wanted to be in the same room.

I drink a lot of tea – especially in Damn You Fit April.  The side effect of drinking a lot of tea is needing to use the washroom often.  In case you were wondering, I sit down to pee.  No, this is not an invitation to let me know what you do, just you need to know this for the story.  Given that I was home alone for the day, I don’t close the door while using the bathroom.   Perhaps I should have.

Hungry Beavis followed me in every time.  Watching me.  Purring.  It was disturbing, yet not so much that I closed the door on subsequent visits.

Mid afternoon when he jumped on my lap whilst I was peeing to show his love, I started closing the door.

April 4th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Having to worry about getting cat hair in places you don’t want to think about.

The Daily EO: April 3rd, 2012

A recruiter called me at 10 am this morning to discuss a Materials Manager position that I had submitted my résumé to over the weekend.   It’s always good to be called that quickly, and I was pleased to get the call.  The posting was written for me – Materials Manager with 10 years experience, preferably with automotive and SAP experience.  The posting was for “Confidential” so I didn’t know the name of the company and where in Toronto it is located.

But, I felt like I had another poker in the fire so to speak.

This recruiter was unique in that he told me the company about 2 minutes in to the conversation.  Most recruiters keep it confidential until they have the whole conversation with me.  Good thing he told me right up front.  Afterall, I had heard of this company before – in fact, I had interviewed at this company three weeks before.   Yes, the ginger-haired potential boss one.  Also the company that has missed every commitment they’d made in telling me of the status of the position.

To recap: A recruiter calls me to discuss a position I have already interviewed for, and that I have not been notified by that same company if they want to hire me or not.

The conversation went from unfortunate to awkward.  After I let the recruiter know the situation, he began to help me understand why perhaps they didn’t want to hire me.  The man who has known me for 2 minutes, and only read my résumé.  So, instead of discussing a potentially great job, a stranger calls me up and tells me about my potential failings.

I cut him off as politely as I could to steer the conversation to other opportunities he may have.  He says he will keep my résumé on hand.  And don’t they always say that?

April 3rd, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  It’s me that is unemployed?  Really?

The Daily EO: April 2nd, 2012

I’ve known Jefferson for more than 10 years.  He was a friend of my manager at Celestica, and he was recruited to join our team because we were sorely understaffed.  Jefferson began our relationship by telling me he wasn’t wearing any underwear.  He wasn’t trying to be sexy, he was being funny.  I found him to be disturbing and tried to avoid him. But he was always around.  He was a little like Rose on Golden Girls – always having interesting stories about eccentric people from Lindsay (instead of St. Olaf’s) – and was making people feel happier.  I still wanted no part of him – after all, if he told me about his commando status first off (and who knew if he meant it), I really didn’t want to hear about what came next.

Celestica was ramping up, so they were recruiting a masses of new graduates.  They also paid overtime to their office workers.  (Who does that?).  So, you had half the company in their early to mid-20s in their first office job working paid overtime.  Few were married – most weren’t even in relationships – no burden of kids, with excess income.  You can well imagine the social scene – drinks out frequently, parties, pub crawls, events.  And Jefferson was the centre of it all.  He rented a house with a pool nearby the plant, and it quickly became the place to be.  Or the place to meet before going to the place to be.

I had to make my peace with Jefferson and I discovered someone with similar values to me.   I liked him because of his dynamic ways , he liked me because I can actually tell when he is lying.  I haven’t quite joined his inner circle – that is reserved for people born in Lindsay with him, I think.  But if I call, he’d come running.   Through the years, I have wanted to kill him at moments.  We cooked one – and one only – Thanksgiving dinner together, travelled together often, screamed at each other, been so annoyed with each other we couldn’t talk for weeks.  I’ve told him what spades are spades, he has told me how it is.  But if you can bark at your friend, they are a true friend.

I am never quite sure what Jefferson is thinking or doing, but through the years, I’ve learned to accept it.  So when he showed up in Huntsville at 7 am Monday morning for a visit, who knew what he was doing?    Just go with it.  And it was a good day.

April 2, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Don’t judge a man by his underwear,  but keep your wits about you.

The Daily EO: April 1st, 2012

I received ThinkGeek’s annual April Fool’s E-mail today.  They make up a whole bunch of odd products and watch the fallout.  It is pretty fun.  My favorite was a couple of years ago when they pretended to sell Unicorn Meat (the picture showed a content that looks kinda like whitish SPAM with sparkles on it) and branded it “The New Other White Meat” and “Excellent source of sparkles”.    Yes, funny, but it was the aftermath that was memorable.   Soon after, the National Pork Board sent a letter to ThinkGeek about copyright infringement on the “The Other White Meat” slogan that the Pork Board had trademarked.   ThinkGeek apologized and said “It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn.”

Now that is funny! And so successful that you can actually order Canned Unicorn at Thinkgeek now.  I supposed I am mostly laughing at the group think scenario that happened at the National Pork Board and their lawyers.  Why didn’t someone put up their hand and say “Aren’t Unicorns mythical creatures?  Perhaps we should have a articling student check this out?”  My experience in law firms are solely LA Law, Law & Order and Franklin & Bash based, so I really don’t know how things work, so perhaps the functions are so siloed that most of the participants didn’t know the big picture.

That is the reason I love Joan of Arcadia, Touch and other TV shows where the participants don’t totally understand the big picture.  They are simply compelled to act by some plot mover (God, etc) or another.  The characters are part of a larger plan that they don’t understand.  In TV land, however, there usually is some type of resolution – some type of understanding – within 43 minutes.  Now that is a time frame that I can live with – just wait your hour and your questions and wondering if the path you are walking is getting you to the right place.  Were the choices you made and the opportunities denied lead you down a path you want?  Will you thank God for unanswered prayers years later?  Will the aftermath of this several years of un- and under-employment really be leading me to the places I want to be?  It better well be a fantastic letter from the National Pork Board!

April 1st, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:   Thinkgeek’s annual reminder of Unicorn Meat, the power of sparkles and the hope that the aftermath is what makes it the most interesting.

The Daily EO: March 31, 2012

There are days like today that I sit here and tap the keys and nothing comes out.   There seems nothing to say, or everything I have to say is mundane or cliché.

I gave Emile the chance to tell me what he thought was extra-ordinary from March 31st.   I thought you might like to know what he thought was extra-ordinary (well, actually, I was hoping he’d solve my problem).    He answered, “Hmmm.  Well, we got up.  Worked out.  Got bored.  Crashed our friends’ house.  Ate dinner there.  Watched a movie.  Came home”  pause.  “Sorry, love”. I guess he doesn’t think things are extra-ordinary unless a unicorn comes prancing by.

Um, yeah, I guess that is what we did.   Should I accept that some days do not have extra-ordinary in them?  No, I shouldn’t.   I am going to keep getting better at this.

March 31st, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  No Dancing Elves or Sasquatches.  Just a good day and that is already extra-ordinary.

The Daily EO: March 30, 2012

I got an e-mail from Jack Birtch today.  It wasn’t a personal, nor was it particularly interesting.  It said “Here is our new e-mail address”.  I haven’t talked to Jack Birtch in over 5 years.  He was – and presumably still is – a kind gentle person who looked like a kind person.  I picked him out of a list of people with their pictures because I liked the look of his face, and the warmth in his eyes.  Jack was exactly what I was looking for.

Does he remember me?  I think so, I hope so, because he is an important person in my life.

I don’t know if I did an adequate job of telling him this.  If he knew how much I appreciated the humour, warmth, sincerity, and gravity he brought to the situation.   I hope so.  If not, thanks Jack, we are sure glad you were there, and I’m sending you a note to tell you so.

March 30, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Thinking of Jack Birtch – officiant at our wedding and getting the chance to tell him how he was appreciated.