The Daily EO: August 16th, 2012

A strange set of circumstances intersected today:

1.  Emile has lost 30 pounds.  Many of his clothes are loose.  Many of mine are as well.
2.  I am anxious, stressed and not sleeping.  When I don’t get enough sleep, I get delirious and unpredictable.
3.  We are packing and consolidating.  Therefore when we found two more-than-half full bottles of Grand Marnier, they were combined leaving about 4 ozs left.  Not enough to pack, too much to toss.  It needed consumption.

While we sat downstairs trying to make decisions about what to keep, sell and toss, we passed the bottle back and forth.  It was about 11:30 am.  As I sorted kitchen things, Emile worked in the other corner of the room going through computer, stereo and electronic items.

I successfully finished off a box and moved it to the completed pile.  As I turned around, my eye caught a round white object glinting at me.  My husband was standing there with a great big moon waiting for me to notice.  Flapping his butt cheeks at me for no reason at all.  His shorts could slip off so easily, you see, and why not moon his wife?  I gawked and giggled.   What the hell?

But back at it – we have things to do.  One was to review what is in the garage – catalogue and do the same sort.  I don’t really remember what I said or did, but Emile threatened me with another moon.  Not one to respond rationally all the time, I threatened him back.  And so we mooned each other.

Emile was not to be out done.  “I’m going to moon the next car that comes by”, he says.  What?!

Now remember: No Sleep, Grand Marnier, Stress, easy slip off pants and potential to be outdone by my husband.  We moved to the front of the house, whipped down our pants and hung our butts out in the direction of the street.  And waited.

August 16th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Reports of Nudity in Muskoka are Greatly Exaggerated, I’m sure.   I love this man.


The Daily EO: July 14th, 2012

(in Cranbrook, BC)

Stereotypical Jewish mothers want their sons to be rabbis or doctors, or their daughters to marry rabbis or doctors.  I wouldn’t recommend either in a husband.   I mean – doctors, what tradeable and practical skills do they have?  I guess if you need someone to drive all night on a road trip.  But it’s not like he can simply pull out a scalpel and remove your appendix at home.  Do you want your husband telling you what that bump on your back could be?  And a rabbi would be useful for a direct conduit, but it’s not like that gets the roof repaired.

I married well.  I thought ahead, considered my and my loved ones’ needs of the future and set out to land me a computer expert.  It took me five years, but I finally got that proposal.  And what has that gained me?  A fully integrated home network, friends who believe they owe us a favour because of a computer fix, ultimate employability, and barterable skills.

Mothers – tell your daughters to look for the men who can do things – plumbers, electricians, hairdressers, carpenters, drywallers, computer technicians, landscapers,  golf course back shop managers, mechanics, car painters, etc.  It really will make life easier later.

July 14th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  A new computer for my mother built by my husband.  No maternal guilt on this trip!

The Daily EO: June 29th, 2012

My husband received a Yoda bobble head for his 40th birthday.  He holds a bright green neon light sabre (Yoda, not my husband).  It was kept in my husband’s office until recently, and now sits as one of the few decorative items in the master bedroom.  (Everything else is still packed because this place was supposed to be temporary).

You know those Chicken Soup for the Soul stories and other heartwarming tales about married people never spending a night apart and never taking off their wedding rings?  I’m coming up to six years married this year and I think I have taken my rings off as many days as we have been married.  If it is too hot, if I am kneading dough, if I get the “hand rot” (sometimes I am not good about making sure I dry underneath my rings), if I am exercising, swimming (I am always scared they are going to come off and therefore I then swim with my hands in fists), or if I want to play with them, or for many other reasons.  They are off a lot.

I was blessed with the Francis Fat Fingers (and thighs while we are on the topic).  Thanks Mom, Thanks Grandpa.  I do not have graceful, slim hands.   I have the plump, stubby fingers.  Could I not have inherited my hands from my maternal grandmother – who was rumoured to be able to reach 1.5 octaves on a piano with ease?  No, I get these hands.  But in their defence, they are working hands – strong, robust, and from what I can tell so far, not prone to arthritis (I’ll let you know).   So, I’ll take them.  Versus the alternative, I guess.

My husband takes his wedding band off all the time too.  For many of the same reasons I do.   And who gets to hold it?  You know it!   Yoda – on his sabre.

Quick aside here, one day my husband took off his ring to cut the lawn and left it on the sofa table in the living room.  So he would easily be able to find it later, he put it on a business card that was also sitting on the table.  I came down stairs to find him gone, and his wedding ring sitting in the middle of the living room on a lawyer’s business card.  Lucky for him, the lawyer was a real estate one.  Consider the messages you are sending out people!

Now taking off our rings.  Could this mean that we are not a committed to each other as those who never spend a night apart or never take off their rings?  Maybe.  But I’ll tell you this – as I type ringlessly (it’s hot and I am about to go for a run) – my Francis Fat Fingers are deformed.  There is a slight indent about 1/2 inch wide on my second finger on my left hand.   And It’s lighter than the rest of my hands.

I like to look at my hand with this dint.  I like the indent.  I can’t take off it easily.  And I do not want to.

June 29th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Rings do not make the marriage – rather the dints.

The Daily EO: June 24th, 2012

It rained all day today.   It started about 9:30 am and rained for the most part until 8 pm.   I spent most of the day in bed watching TV, drinking mug after mug of tea, eating carbly delicious food, surfing the internet, and reading.  It was so comforting.  My husband did the same – although he spent most of the day watching study videos and reading for his Networks+ exam.  He’s happy because nobody wants to study when you’d rather be outside in the sun.

There is something about spring that makes you want to throw open your doors and bask in the sunshine after a deep and dark winter.  But just as wonderful as it feels to put on dry clean clothes after a day at the beach, a cool rainy Sunday in summer is a needed break.  Closing the doors and snuggling in, eating soup and knowing that tomorrow back you will be in the sunshine.   After a week of record-breaking temperatures that were indeed glorious, this rainy day focused us back inside as a reminder to enjoy the day that comes.

It was also filled with soothing events:

  • I read about this week’s CSA offering.  I jealously thought of others as this is one of our off weeks.  More strawberries.  Too bad.
  • I received word that two of my postcards via Postcrossing were received!  I requested two more addresses knowing now that two postcards are coming to me soon!  The postcard I sent to a guy in the USA was marked as one of his “favorite”!  Hooray!
  • We made one of my husband’s favorite comfort meals: Manwiches with mushrooms and onions.  As a loving wife, I at one point made sloppy joes from scratch for him.. .  well, I used seiten instead of ground beef.  .  .my efforts were appreciated, but not ever requested again.  He prefers that Hunt’s can.  Sigh.  For compromise, we now use a mix of ground beef and TVP.   It took me years to get him off cheese slices for grilled cheese sandwiches instead of old cheddar.
  • I pulled a Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Lentil Loaf from the freezer for snacks.  I made it a couple months ago from Spilling the Beans and knew someday I would love myself for freezing one of them.  The day came!
  • As the house is now sold, we didn’t have to clean, tidy, put things away or worry about cat hair gathering in the corners of the bathroom floor.  We can go back to our normally clean, but slightly cluttery selves.
  • I read the latest PostSecret cards and secretly (not any longer, I guess) felt as always a combination of smugness, sympathy and voyeurism.
  • Skipped running with the valid excuses of sore calves/shins and concerns that I would melt under the steady drizzle.

June 25th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Perfect, Ordinary Rainy Day.

The Daily EO: June 22nd, 2012

I’ve been fortunate normally in my roommates that I have lived with.  There is only a 4 month spurt with a crazy woman named Rosemary that was really pretty difficult.   The people I’ve lived with have at least been tolerable and at best become exceeding excellent friends (or a husband).  I’ve also lived in some pretty nice places – several even during university that had a dishwasher (and waste disposer).

Dishwashers – are they not the most fabulous inventions?  You can stow dirty dishes quickly, you can leave the clean ones in there and just grab things from it as you need, you can run it as much as you want.   They take a chore that requires scrubbing, rubbing, getting dirty, drying and worst above all the gathering of the sink gunk at the end of the job.  Granted, I normally hand wash my good dishes and silverware (despite NOT learning from example from my mother).

Beyond the major things – like thief, boyfriends moving in, destruction, etc – I can live with some annoying habits of roommates (as long as I have my bedroom to disappear into).  But here it is.  Here are the two related things that takes me from calm to NASA hot in 3 seconds:   Dirty dishes in the sink and dirty dishes sitting above the dishwasher.  (exceptions only if you are a guest and the dishwasher needs to be unloaded)

Honestly, if you have made it far enough to the kitchen to bring your dirty dishes – take that extra 2 seconds and put them in bloody dishwasher.  Do NOT pile them in the sink where they get all sticky and wet.  Do NOT pile them on top of the dishwasher where they just get in the way.  FINISH the JOB!  Is there a teleporter going to move the dishes for you?  Do you think we should attract mice/ants/stray dogs with rotting food?  Should my food preparation areas be contaminated and cluttered with your dishes?  Are we unionized here – it is contractually my responsibility to put the dishes in the dishwasher?  And don’t tell me “you were getting to it when you finished X”!  Do it when you finish eating!

See?  Just writing about it gets me worked up.

June 22nd, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Fondly remembering university thanks to my husband.  It’s good thing I have other desirable qualities, otherwise he might take the cat and head for the hills.

Hmmm…. as I was adding tags, I found that I already mentioned this.  So, you can see that I am at least consistent.

The Daily EO: June 21st, 2012

Okay.  Something for you mothers out there.  You know when you are off doing something on your own – say gardening, reading a book, watching a movie, cooking dinner, talking on the phone?  And invariably you can hear the noise of those you share a house with?   And then with a start you realize you can no longer hear the sound of your kids?  Which of course leads you to the over used cliché of “it is too quiet” and you need to investigate?

That happened to me today.  I was watching yet another episode of The West Wing in the bedroom, while Emile watched something loud and violent in the living room.  With the door closed, I could only make out the bass of the crashes and booms, and the shouting voices.  It wasn’t really bothering me – but I could hear it.

And somewhere in the middle of a CJ Cregg press conference, I realized that I couldn’t hear punches and blood splatter any longer.  (An aside . .while I type this, I can hear these things now.  It lends a sense of authenticity to my writing, don’t you think?)  I paused and went out to see why my husband – who doesn’t do a lot of quiet things except fix computers – stopped making noise at 9:45 pm.

You have to understand – I spend much of my free time imagining the horrible things that could happen to him.  Car accidents, electrocutions, bad cat scratch, hand caught in a car door, severe eye injury leading to eventual blindness, MS, cancer or constipation.

This invariably leads to me saying “Drive Slowly – precious cargo”, “Wear safety glasses”, “Is the power off?”, “Be Careful!” and handing out vitamins, acai berries and chia seeds with admonishments to Live Forever.

He was missing!  Despite being in my pajamas, I wandered outside to check the garage.  I looked in the basement, checked the backyard.  Checked the other bathroom.  Looked for his car (still there).  Called his cell phone (here in the house).   I was stymied.   Where is he?  Could someone break in here and take him without me knowing?  And it’s not like he knows anything about off shore bank accounts.  So why would they take him?  This scenario seems unlikely.  And if he wasn’t taken by force, why didn’t he tell me he was leaving?  Maybe I missed a note!  No.

I’d better keep my hands occupied so I can stem the panic starting to gurgle up.  I’ll unload the dishwasher while I consider the facts.  He is not here.  He has not taken his car.  Hmmmm.  Surely he hasn’t gone running.  It’s almost dark – a car wouldn’t be able to see him!  He could trip and twist his ankle and need help!  If he is running, I don’t know when he is left, so I don’t know when he should be back!   I don’t know which route he took!  Oh My God!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

Door Slam.

“Oh, Hi Sooz, just running.  What’s the matter with you?  Didn’t you hear me getting ready for a run?”

Honestly, man.  I need to lay down. . . .

June 21st, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Who needs exercise?  Just have your spouse disappear to run late at night to get your heart rate up.


The Daily EO: June 19th, 2012

It’s day 2.

He’s driving me crazy.  There is a routine.  A schedule.  And everything is upside down.

We went grocery shopping at 4:30 pm yesterday!  I know!  It’s ridiculous!  How am I supposed to function with this type of spontaneity?  Grocery shopping at 4:30?  Pshaw!

And when it is time for using the computer after cooling down from a run, he wants to watch TV, or something else that is not scheduled until later.

People – I need a job.  Or he needs a job.

June 19th, 2012 Extra-Ordinary:  Absence does make the heart fonder.

. . . but it is kinda nice having him around.  He makes dinner. . . .and does chores . . . .and talks to me. . . .