It’s been a long time since Emile and I have been able to make decisions based on what we want to do instead of making the best of a situation that we are in. With unemployment and financial considerations, we made do. We dealt with what we had and were okay with that.
I think “because I want to” decisions are scary than “because I had to” ones.
June 27th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Extended our lease until March 2015 because we want to.
I have a talent for being cutting. I wanted to be cutting much more when I was younger – I thought it was a sign of toughness and strength. I don’t really like myself now when I hurt someone through condescension or dismissal or outright questioning of their competency. I find that for the most part, I don’t want to be that and tend to overcome usually. But at my worst, I am mean. There are certain situations and personalities that bring out the worst in me. If I feel that my time is being deliberately wasted or that someone is not respecting what I have done/who I am. Or if you are meek or unknowingly dumb. And other times, I can’t put my finger on it.
There is a new team member at work that I can’t seem to find a rhythm with. She seems to be technically capable, friendly, inquires about my weekend, listens to what I say, follows up and closes issues and for some reason makes me absolutely grit my teeth in every interaction I have with her.
I was mean to her today. I left soon afterwards and spent my entire drive home trying to understand what it was. What is my problem? Why am I being mean?
June 26th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Not feeling too proud of myself today.
You know that moment when you realize “It’s too late now”? I unfortunately had one of those when I watched the student awkwardly chop a hunk off my hair that I really don’t think was supposed to be removed.
There wasn’t much I could do at that point – and I wondered about where the instructor was, but I went through the stages of grief pretty quickly.
What? Did you really just do that? You stupid girl! I wonder if I can get a discount on my next hair cut? Alas, I am not as pretty as I was once. Well, it will grow back.
June 24th, 2013 Extra-ordinary: My psychology degree comes through.
For some reason the city of Vancouver decided to shut down Powell from today until summer 2014. The signs state “find an alternative route”. I ranted like a fool to Emile when they first put the signs up, claiming the start of a letter writing campaign and predicting the uprising of the people. But unlike HST, nobody seemed too concerned with the new traffic direction we were having to take.
I hate driving down Hastings as it bunch of pedestrian controlled green lights. It takes forever and my commute just got worse. Sigh.
June 24th, 2013, Extra-ordinary: Turns out that traffic is pretty quiet anywhere out of the city at 7 am.
Emile and I went to the ScotiaBank 5K this weekend. And it hurt me. My butt is sore, my legs are sore, my shoulders. My pride a little. What seemed like something I should easily do, was really difficult. But I did it.
June 23rd, 2013 Extra-Ordinary:
Scotiabank Vancouver 5K: Vancouver, British Columbia, June 23, 2013 (5K)
Emile Results:
Time: 26:14
Overall Finish: 99th
Gender Finish: 75th
Category Finish: 9th
Susan Results:
Time: 34:25 (weirdly tied with Chocolate Race Results)
Overall Finish: 517th
Gender Finish: 294th
Category Finish: 34th
It sat in my bag on our island all day. I got up and saw it there.
I wanted to drag it out and use it, but I resisted. I tried to remember my other hobbies, things I used to do when it didn’t invade my life.
I couldn’t remember.
June 22nd, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: 48 hours without turning on my work laptop.
In Gastown tonight there was a music festival that shut down Water Street. 150 independent musical acts in about 15 different pavilions. This was a dream come true for Emile – a large group of people, late evening light and music. His camera and he were anxious to get going.
It ran from 5-10, and I arrived home at 6 frazzled due to ridiculous traffic. And I didn’t want to go out, I wanted to rant about something that upset me earlier in the day.
He listened, wisely took my side and waited patiently while I spewed forth.
June 21st, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: A Husband that will listen to me even when he’d rather be doing something else. Anything else.
Recently, my friend Dianna stopped by for a visit on her way to China. She travels there often for business and Vancouver is a nice stop over from Ontario – especially when she has never been to Vancouver before. We spent a lot of time hanging out, walking through the city and catching up. Our her last night here, we went to Steamworks Pub (not Steamworks Bath House which is altogether a different place and would not be of interest to either of us).
After a long day of walking, some refreshments were needed, so quickly drinks were consumed and of course, then trips to the bathrooms. Steamworks bathroom is quite nice – large and the stalls are made of highly finished – and reflective – wood product. I wandered down the aisle looking for the best stall. I am not really sure I one knows, but you just know which stall is appropriate.
I was half way down the aisle when I noticed a sign on one of the stall doors. It looked like this:
I stopped, and hesitated. It couldn’t mean. . ? I slowly pushed the door open and discovered this:
Two toilets in one stall with a small dividing wall for . . . um. . . privacy? I asked my friend Dianna to join me for a demonstration. Because as you may recall – the wood was HIGHLY reflective. So, this is what you would see whilst using the stall. (don’t be afraid to look at the picture. We kept our pants on – this is a demonstration only).
June 20th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: There is a stereotype about women going to the bathroom together – and it may be true – but it does not mean we Go to the Bathroom together. Weird.
On Monday, Emile asked me if I wanted to do a 5K this weekend – his company would pay the entrance fee. On Monday – as you’ll recall – I was being audited and feeling guilty about not answering my grandfather’s call. So, I said, “What the hell? Sign me up”.
June 19th, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: This doesn’t seem like the best idea today.
Sue – thinking about you right now for some reason.
This innocuous message showed up in my email from my Linked In account. Probably because I refuse to get a FaceBook account, but couldn’t search for employment without Linked In. FaceBook – the place where people you don’t want to find you, find you.
Anyways, this was from an ex-boyfriend. From university days. Who belonged to the sailing club as an instructor and decided that one of his students . . lets call her Poolie. . . needed some personal battening of her hatches. But, he was a good guy . . because he admitted his indiscretion. Right?
The best part – and the worst – is that after he and Poolie separated, he “missed me” and I some how let myself get involved again. Really? Where’s your self esteem, Susan? Eventually he then “missed her” and returned to and married Poolie. I generally have mostly forgotten and mostly forgiven this incident – though Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” still reminds me of this time. The whole cliché thing led to much better things – like best friend Lisa, leaving BC to get my MBA in Ontario, getting a spine and then marrying the perfect man for me who does not have his head turned by pretty little paper dolls like Poolie. Looking back, I would do it all again for twice as long to get what I have now.
We’ve actually in the last 15 years or so, communicated with each other via email (during the High Fidelity stage of my life), but not someone who I . . well, trust much.
So, not unwelcome, but certainly not a great reconnection. “Hey remember that time that you crushed my little tender heart – those were the best times, eh?” “You still married to that other woman?” “So, um . . . yeah. . .” Just weird.
Anyways, then I had to decide. Do I ignore or accept? Ignore is the same as refusing in Linked In and wasn’t sure that I wanted him to think that I couldn’t handle it. 18 years later, am I not over it? I am, so what is the harm in accepting? But then he want to talk. God. Not sure I want to.
Wonder if he ever got that front tooth fixed properly – the one that only a mother or infatuation could overlook. Yes, I noticed it buddy, but I just was dazzled because I was I nitwit.
June 18, 2013 Extra-Ordinary: Accepted the invitation, because I know I can brag about my life if he wants to talk. Too bad that made me find out that we live in the same city now. Sigh.
The Daily EO 